In all seriousness though, being a writer is about half of who I am. I write all the time. I've never had a writer tell me that I'm a writer, but I find that to be a fairly ridiculous requirement.

I've written five sitcom episodes, a kid's show, half a dozen unfinished novels, two dozen short stories, a livejournal for 5+ years, a number of moderately popular blogs, dozens of poems and songs, six webcomics, and hundreds of other things as well.

None of them have been professionally recognised, and I realise that it's quality not quantity, but they range from okay to really quite good.