Four College Food Groups

My friend, Gabriel Osborne, came up with a brilliant idea one day, after having pulled an all-nighter, and told it to us when we visited him today yesterday (hey, it's past midnight...). He said that, you know how there are four food groups? Well, in college, there are different four food groups:

• Chicken,
  
• Hamburger (Sandwiches for the liberal, but truly, Hamburger is better),
  
• Caffeine, and
  
• Cereal.

Like all great ideas, it was at first met with great skepticism. "What food group does Asian food come under, then?" Gabe was asked. "Chicken", he replied. "What about ice cream?" "Cereal." Sprite? Caffeine (by association). Soup? Chicken. Chili? Hamburger.

This is an idea whose time has come. Pass it on.