The Packbats' Dreamfeed

Sooo... I started my PhD, again. Earlier this year I had started doing a PhD in late modern history in Istanbul University. For a variety of reasons it was not a great fit for me to do my doctoral studies at, so by the middle of the spring term I was considering applying elsewhere and see if I could migrate to greener grass, so to speak. So, in the rest of that term I focused on PhD applications again, which was made easier by the fact that the department at İÜ was, let's say, not very strict when it came to doing the PhD classes. I applied to history departments at three institutions, Boğaziçi University, Koç University, and Sabancı University. The first of these is basically the best public university in Turkey, and the other two are top ranking private [1] universities. So quite sensibly I was ready to receive three rejections, considering I lack a background in history.

Applications were quite busy and tense, still. Three statements of purpose, two research proposals, two to three recommendation letters for each of those universities which I had to divide between four past professors who were very generously willing to write for each of my applications regardless of number (yes, I've so far been mostly lucky when it comes to encountering lovely faculty), open days, scholarship and tuition waiver regulation to figure out for the private unis (as whether or not I could study there at all depended on whether they had that option, and these two unis by default waive the tuition for graduate students), expectations of the programmes, et cetera...

I was lucky enough to get to interview at three out of three unis. At Boğaziçi they picked candidates to interview based on a written exam that was quite well executed (as it allowed you to pick 2 out of 10 questions based on your interests and answer those, I've took much, much worse), the others did not have that step. The interviews were pretty nice, with the sole exception being the very hot rooms in Boğaziçi in June actually leading to me performing kinda worse than what I'm capable of due to the fact that I was actively liquefying into a cartoon pool of disgusting sweat. In amongst three I'd rank Koç the lowest on the basis of interviews, by the way, as it was online and Zoom based. It went well but online is always worse than offline, and it goes from meh to weird when the uni is in my very city and I'm one bus ride away from it... but such is life in 2020s. And oh, I also almost had a heatstroke coming back from very remote Sabancı campus, which is nice, but also at the eastern border of the province, I believe, quite literally took me four whole hours to get there alone, and on the way back the route included a 20 station long metro ride.

Either way, these are just random whoopsies and facts of life, nothing to be too bothered about.

Two acceptances and one rejection I got: Sabancı was the one that rejected. I was a bit sad about it, I mean it wasn't surprising, wouldn't be so if I was rejected by any of these institutions where the bar is quite high, but I liked the department there and also the institution seemed fairly generous in supporting its graduate students monetarily for conferences etc, and I had come across more positive experiences than negative. I would most likely still have opted for Boğaziçi if I was accepted there, I replied otherwise when asked at the interview there, but I actually hadn't really made my mind as much as I was feeling at that point, lured by both potential financial advantages and the prospects of moving out. The choice between Koç and Boğaziçi was easy: I was accepted to Koç with a tuition waiver and a few benefits but no "scholarship". Now, scare quotes, because they have a troublesome setup: besides normal classes, you've 20hr of "classes" each week which is essentially RA/TAships, but construed as a course you take each semester, and hence unpaid per se. The payment technically would come in the form of a quite substantial monthly cash scholarship that is more than half of what an actual RA/TA in a public university makes full time, nothing to scoff at, but of course, it being a scholarship, they can decide to not allocate you it. And, they didn't allocate me any, and that sealed the decision by itself. Boğaziçi, being a public university, does not pay it's graduate students, but it also doesn't expect free labour, so they're free to work a job.

There are a couple scholars at the Koç department that I was interested in, but the Boğaziçi department is considerably larger and there are more professors that match my own research interests who I can pick as my thesis advisor, multiple of whom are scholars whose work I had come across and liked. So the decision was obvious. But also, I would be required to undergo a remedial year (alternatively termed "scientific preparation" year) at Boğaziçi, which on the face of it may appear to be a disadvantage, but actually, it's very much a positive, because, lacking training in the field, it would've been vitally helpful to me, despite the problem of a busy class schedule and financial issues that busy year was set to (and has, until last month) challenge me with.

So, I made my decision, and the process of preparation for registration and classes began. Unenrolling myself from Istanbul was stressful, as exmatriculation makes you eligible for military duty, and issues there could lead to me losing my chance to study at my dream uni, so I ended up spending a decent chunk of the summer making phone calls, figuring out the procedures, and the best moment to deregister at Istanbul so that I wouldn't have to worry about conscription. Thankfully, it went to plan and I registered, got my military duty deferred again (until the end of 2028), and was set to begin my classes come late September.

Now I'm near the end of the eleventh week, out of thirteen, of classes for the term of autumn, and, knock on wood, it's great! As it's the remedial year, I've five courses a semester this academic year, it's a bit busy, so it doesn't allow me to work, but thankfully I've earned the national scholarship from the Ministry of Youth and Sports, and at the doctoral level it's enough money to live off of if you don't pay rent or for a dorm room and are thrifty. Come June I'll be able to work, hopefully I'll land an RAship, but I can only dawdle until the late summer searching a comfy job. The scholarship does permit me to have a choice, tho, and I'm quite happy about that.

The one stressful thing is, I need to successfully complete *all* my courses successfully (i.e., not FF, don't fail them) and maintain a GPA above 2.5/4 (62.5/100). I've done the midterms in the recent weeks, and the grades are encouraging. I don't worry too much about the GPA requirement, but I am somewhat ill at ease about the no FFs requirement. You know, shit happens, things may go wrong, accidents happen. I've been assured that it's very rare that a scientific prep student should fail, but I'm on my metaphorical toes about it, because failure leads to exmatriculation, you don't get to try and retake that class. That's not the case for normal classes, only for the remedial year. But, as I say, grades so far are encouraging, and hopefully I'll be safely ashore come June.

But that's only a background nag, overall I'm quite happy and pleased, and am enjoying my time. The remedial year is also giving me ample time to better figure out my niche in history, participate in academic events (so far mostly attending talks, but I do plan to present at one or two thingies this spring, and attend some other thing abroad in September if I can fund it), and not so ample time (partly due to laziness and procrastination on my part) to write a journal article based on my master's thesis with my master's advisor. It's a bit of a hassle that last one, but I really want a publication out of my thesis, and it helps my advisor too, so I'm trying to get it done. I'm glad I tried my luck, I think with a busy spring and stressful summer, I've considerably improved my prospects in the coming years as a grad student, now in an institution that matches my dispositions and interests, with professors that I have much overlaps of research areas with, and what more could I ask!?

Knock on wood! 🧿 😆




Footnotes:

[1] Technically, there are no "private" universities here, but "foundation" universities: higher education institutions ran by non-profit entities that are usually tied to a wealthy family (e.g. the two universities above, connected to wealthy families with the same names) or to some institution. They do charge substantial tuition fees, unlike public universities, where within the presumed "normal" duration of a programme is free, but if you go beyond that time frame (or fall within the purview of a few other exceptional cases), you pay a small fee each semester during re-registration.