thinking about comforting people

[packbat]

(I hope talking about what I do doesn't make it uncomfortable for people I comfort, but I'm doing it anyway)

validating feelings is usually where I start

I need a kind of understanding to be able to - enough of a feel for the situation - to be able to figure out what is happening, figure out what people are reacting to, to know how to talk about that validation, that "your feelings are not wrong"

but if I have something I think I can rely on, I try to get across that their feelings make sense, prove they are a person with a self that has wants and values and not a defective creature that has no reasons

if I have some truth, enough of a glimpse into the machinery of emotions and reactions and the world, that's what I try to bring

sometimes I feel like a bastard, bringing hard bitter crusts of honesty to people hungry for promises, but I share what I have

I tell people who want to be okay that they don't have to be okay
people who want the damage fixed that something can be made of the wreckage
people who want to be normal that strange can still be worthy
people who want to be safe that others want that too

I comfort people when I can, when I can make sense, with what I have and know

and it's scary to me to think of myself as someone that can, knowing sometimes I can't