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the_zaniak's post about his funeral.
I think I'd like my funeral in a graveyard.
It'd start at about one or two o'clock in the afternoon, I'd say – late enough for all to have eaten lunch before. I imagine that the grave will already be dug, and my body will lie in an open coffin on a stand beside it. I will be dressed in a suit, something plain, and spiffed up like bodies at funerals generally are. (Naturally, the entire 'open-coffin' thing will be abandoned if the circumstances of my death contraindicate it.)
Rows of chairs will be set up, starting about three meters away from the body, and continuing as far as necessary. They will be under some sort of canopy (or set of canopies) if rain threatens. There will either be a live band – should a sufficiently superb band be available – or an audio system set up nearby, with the music loud enough to be properly enjoyed from the front row of chairs, but quiet enough to allow easy conversation further back. (If this is not possible, set up more chairs and/or space them wider. If it's still not possible, still play the music loud enough for the front row – the people who want to talk will just have to lump it.) The music will play for approximately an hour, starting at the scheduled beginning time of the funeral, so as to allow that subset of my friends who are perpetually late to arrive in time for the eulogies. At least one of the people involved in the organization of the funeral should be present in the rear of the room, to keep a weather eye (ear?) out for the ending of the set, to make sure everyone heads to their seats for the end.
If there is a band, and they're willing to do it, I'd like them to stop before the last song and wait for silence. The last song can then be performed in as perfect concert silence as is possible outdoors. I would recommend the last song be "Both Sides, Now" in this case.
The M.C. should then come up, and say a few words – just something to introduce the funereal aspect of the day.
Then, the M.C. will introduce each of my friends and family who have something to say. The introductions are to be extremely brief – brief as in, "This is Mark Zimmermann, Robin's father", full stop, or if the M.C. is feeling especially voluble, "This is Mark Zimmermann, the deceased's father, with a few words", full stop. Ideally, the speeches will be brief as well, but I'm not going to ask my poor M.C. to cut people off. They needn't be speeches, either – poetry would be nice as well. Just let them say something if they want.
The final speech, though, I'd like something special. If (horror of horrors) I die before my mother, I would like her to give it, as she is the finest speaker I know; otherwise, well, I'll have to decide later (or the organizers will have to decide). There should be no religion in it; I have no religion, if the word "religion" has any meaning, and I do not want to endorse any with this speech.siderea speaks for me when she talks about how she would discuss death.
What I want the speech to be, is about moving on. I will be dead; I want people to remember what I was, what I made, but I want them to make, and to be, themselves. Beyond the above, though, I will leave it to the speaker to decide what must be said.
Perhaps there's a poem written somewhere (or I shall write a poem sometime) that I would want to end on. I don't know.
In any case, after this final speaker, the official funeral would end. My body would remain, for those who would care to look on it, and perhaps the musicians would remain, for those who would care to speak to them, but the chairs would be put away and all the other accouterments of the funeral removed. Perhaps there would be a snack table; perhaps there would be a procession to a restaurant for something to eat afterwards.
About the music: I do have preferences, but do not take the following songs as the playlist for the funeral. The playlist should be designed like a good concert, with the cooperation of the performing band if applicable. However, I would like any of these songs, and all the ones marked with a plus (+), included in the final programme. The "by"s indicate the preferred artist (should the music be prerecorded), not the composer. I do not indicate albums; in almost all cases, I would prefer the most famous recording from the original LP.
If my executors successfully enlist the sufficiently-superb live band, they will be provided the final playlist as far in advance as humanly possible. If "as far in advance as humanly possible" is shorter than two weeks, they will be provided with a list which will include every song that even might be included in the final playlist, with the near-certain inclusions indicated. I want an extraordinary performance for everyone who can come.
Oh, as for the legal stuff, the above is in the manner of brainstorming, not final instructions. That said, should I be struck by a car tomorrow, I would like knowing during my final moments that the service will resemble what I herein described.
the_zaniak's post about his funeral.I think I'd like my funeral in a graveyard.
It'd start at about one or two o'clock in the afternoon, I'd say – late enough for all to have eaten lunch before. I imagine that the grave will already be dug, and my body will lie in an open coffin on a stand beside it. I will be dressed in a suit, something plain, and spiffed up like bodies at funerals generally are. (Naturally, the entire 'open-coffin' thing will be abandoned if the circumstances of my death contraindicate it.)
Rows of chairs will be set up, starting about three meters away from the body, and continuing as far as necessary. They will be under some sort of canopy (or set of canopies) if rain threatens. There will either be a live band – should a sufficiently superb band be available – or an audio system set up nearby, with the music loud enough to be properly enjoyed from the front row of chairs, but quiet enough to allow easy conversation further back. (If this is not possible, set up more chairs and/or space them wider. If it's still not possible, still play the music loud enough for the front row – the people who want to talk will just have to lump it.) The music will play for approximately an hour, starting at the scheduled beginning time of the funeral, so as to allow that subset of my friends who are perpetually late to arrive in time for the eulogies. At least one of the people involved in the organization of the funeral should be present in the rear of the room, to keep a weather eye (ear?) out for the ending of the set, to make sure everyone heads to their seats for the end.
If there is a band, and they're willing to do it, I'd like them to stop before the last song and wait for silence. The last song can then be performed in as perfect concert silence as is possible outdoors. I would recommend the last song be "Both Sides, Now" in this case.
The M.C. should then come up, and say a few words – just something to introduce the funereal aspect of the day.
Then, the M.C. will introduce each of my friends and family who have something to say. The introductions are to be extremely brief – brief as in, "This is Mark Zimmermann, Robin's father", full stop, or if the M.C. is feeling especially voluble, "This is Mark Zimmermann, the deceased's father, with a few words", full stop. Ideally, the speeches will be brief as well, but I'm not going to ask my poor M.C. to cut people off. They needn't be speeches, either – poetry would be nice as well. Just let them say something if they want.
The final speech, though, I'd like something special. If (horror of horrors) I die before my mother, I would like her to give it, as she is the finest speaker I know; otherwise, well, I'll have to decide later (or the organizers will have to decide). There should be no religion in it; I have no religion, if the word "religion" has any meaning, and I do not want to endorse any with this speech.
siderea speaks for me when she talks about how she would discuss death.What I want the speech to be, is about moving on. I will be dead; I want people to remember what I was, what I made, but I want them to make, and to be, themselves. Beyond the above, though, I will leave it to the speaker to decide what must be said.
Perhaps there's a poem written somewhere (or I shall write a poem sometime) that I would want to end on. I don't know.
In any case, after this final speaker, the official funeral would end. My body would remain, for those who would care to look on it, and perhaps the musicians would remain, for those who would care to speak to them, but the chairs would be put away and all the other accouterments of the funeral removed. Perhaps there would be a snack table; perhaps there would be a procession to a restaurant for something to eat afterwards.
About the music: I do have preferences, but do not take the following songs as the playlist for the funeral. The playlist should be designed like a good concert, with the cooperation of the performing band if applicable. However, I would like any of these songs, and all the ones marked with a plus (+), included in the final programme. The "by"s indicate the preferred artist (should the music be prerecorded), not the composer. I do not indicate albums; in almost all cases, I would prefer the most famous recording from the original LP.
- +"Both Sides, Now" by Joni Mitchell
- "The Wailing of the Willow" by Harry Nilsson
- "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by Peter, Paul & Mary (hey, they forgot the Oxford comma!)
- "Billy Breathes" by Phish
- "As Tears Go By" by Nancy Sinatra, The Rolling Stones, or, well, almost anyone as long as it's not too slow.
- +"Why Worry" by Dire Straits (see if you can find an LP of "Brothers in Arms" for it – I think the balance may be off on my mp3 from the CD)
- "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright
- "Broken Wings" by Mr. Mister
- "I Think I Understand" by Joni Mitchell
- "Walking in Memphis" – I do not want John Tesh's performance, and I do not know who did it best. Marc Cohn is the composer, so it is likely that it is his version that I recall fondly.
- "Nightbird" by Eva Cassidy
- "The Circle Game" by Joni Mitchell
- "Turn On Your Radio" by Harry Nilsson
- "Fields of Gold" by Eva Cassidy
If my executors successfully enlist the sufficiently-superb live band, they will be provided the final playlist as far in advance as humanly possible. If "as far in advance as humanly possible" is shorter than two weeks, they will be provided with a list which will include every song that even might be included in the final playlist, with the near-certain inclusions indicated. I want an extraordinary performance for everyone who can come.
Oh, as for the legal stuff, the above is in the manner of brainstorming, not final instructions. That said, should I be struck by a car tomorrow, I would like knowing during my final moments that the service will resemble what I herein described.
no subject
Wow. I hope that's the only time I have to say that.
no subject