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packbat: An anthro furry bat-eared fox wearing a nonbinary-pride striped shirt and aromantic-pride striped sunglasses. (pride batfox)
Sunday, January 29th, 2023 05:22 pm

We've been following this scanlation by knight heron of Onna Tomodachi to Kekkon Shitemita (Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend) by Usui Shio, and we've been really enjoying it - it's a cute and sweet story. And we want to talk about it, because we don't know where it will go, but we know one place it shouldn't. Because this isn't just a story about friends getting married, it's also a story about blowing past the "Romances Only" sign on Emotional Intimacy Highway in your friendship car and a little bit worrying that someone's going to pull you over.

Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend takes place in a world which puts up those signs, and was made in a world which puts up those signs, and it has things to say about those signs. It's a story about beginning and developing life partnerships and a story about being and becoming good roommates, but it's also a story about caring more than you're 'allowed' to and that being a good thing.

Content warnings for spoilers, discussion of hospitalization, quoting of amatonormative remarks, and food mentions )

Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend knows what it's about, is the thing. It knows about the hierarchies of relationships enforced by its society, and ours. It knows about amatonormativity - this isn't an accident. And as of Chapter 23, its thesis is pretty clear: amatonormativity is wrong, and this friendship marriage is good.

So no, we don't know where it will go, but we know one place it shouldn't. Because what it's saying so far needs saying.

packbat: A bat wearing a big asexual-flag (black-gray-white-purple) backpack. (Default)
Thursday, December 29th, 2022 08:45 pm

Someone turned us on to Trying Out Marriage With My Female Friend by Usui Shio (aka Onna Tomodachi to Kekkon Shitemita) and it's extremely adorable!

Minor content warning for hospitalization (spoilers inside for those who wish to skip it)

In Chapter 7 ("It's alright, I can endure this"), Ruriko has pain of increasing intensity, which she downplays because she doesn't want to ruin Kurumi's day ... but this means that it is only when Kurumi gets home that she learns her wife is in the hospital. (This is thanks to the couple's mutual friend Kuroda, who realizes upon calling that Ruriko is very sick and takes her.)

Ruriko's pain turns out to be appendicitis - fortunately a minor case, but she has to be on antibiotics through an IV for three or four days, time which is skipped over fairly quickly. The main thing that occurs here is Kurumi being distressed that Ruriko didn't tell her ("that ... that makes it seem like we're nothing more than friends...") and telling Ruriko, "There's nothing more important to me than you, Ruriko" when explaining that Ruriko should have told her and it wouldn't've been a bother.

(Instead of being able to verbally acknowledge this, Ruriko notices Kurumi's wet hair and tells her that she shouldn't forget her umbrella - "I don't want you to catch a cold." Kurumi accepts this as just the kind of person Ruriko is.)

Ruriko is discharged on page 00074, near the end of Chapter 8 ("What's important to me").

(Also, content warning for food - it's a recurring thing throughout - and occasional alcohol.)

This is slice-of-life in the most lovingly mundane form: the protagonists navigate chores, purchases, and differing dispositions, and the feelings and questions that spill out from these day-to-day things.

...but they also deal quite directly with amatonormativity. Their marriage does not fit the cultural model of romance and sex that surrounds them, but it also does not fit the model of "just friends" that they initially assumed it would. They care quite intensely about each other, are desirous of each other's company, and do their best to support each other through struggles small and great. Their approach to the whole affair feels much in the vein of relationship anarchy: dissecting their feelings and making decisions based on what works for each of them, finding where their joys lie and celebrating that in the face of the obliviousness of others, and talking to each other.

I don't know if their relationship as of now is more queerplatonic or ace romantic, and I don't know if the author plans to remain in this space for the rest of the story's run or to portray its metamorphosis into something else. But I do know their relationship is healthy, and nuturing, and sweet.

It's currently serializing in Japanese - Chapter 22 came out this month, looks like.

packbat: A bat wearing a big asexual-flag (black-gray-white-purple) backpack. (Default)
Saturday, April 11th, 2009 10:08 pm

Who do you think it is easier to talk about your problems with: your friends, your family, or strangers?

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Strangers. Why do you think I have a Livejournal?

But in all seriousness, many of my problems are things I have shame over - but if I embarrass myself in front of someone three states away, that doesn't really bother me. I'm more open about being an atheist here for the very same reason.