And that's why I think people are too wound up about it: when someone takes it as an offense against his or her honor, one reads way too much into it. Not willing to wait a couple of minutes for a friend without bitching at that friend strikes me as more disrespectful and dismissive of a person's worth.
Fair enough about the "bitching" part. I retract that.
I get your perspective, too, by the way. I think this is something that you just feel one way or the other about, though. The simple fact is that (at least in my case) no disrespect is intended, but also true is that regardless of intent, someone with a firm sense of punctuality would still take offense.
My biggest problem is with people who are late and don't understand why it's necessary to call. My experiences make me someone who starts wondering the second someone is late if they've died in a car accident, and while that's totally neurotic, it's still only appropriate to call to say, "Hey, be there in 10."
My wife is like that. I reflexively keep her informed about when I expect to be home or to meet her somewhere, updating if it looks like I'll be late (or early).
Part of it may be expectations - if it is assumed that people will be on time, a host of other assumptions follow: that a brief meeting is worth the time it takes out of one's schedule, that one should reserve a table immediately upon reaching the restaurant, that one will make the bus/train/flight to one's destination, etc. When they deviate from the cultural default, people need to be specific (maybe "The movie start time has tolerances (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engineering_tolerance) of +10/-25 minutes", or even just "Show up at least ten minutes early to the photo shoot").
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I get your perspective, too, by the way. I think this is something that you just feel one way or the other about, though. The simple fact is that (at least in my case) no disrespect is intended, but also true is that regardless of intent, someone with a firm sense of punctuality would still take offense.
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