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packbat: A bat wearing a big asexual-flag (black-gray-white-purple) backpack. (Default)
Tuesday, February 9th, 2021 11:30 am

Accidentally a poem on fedi today:

We've been mulling for a while about how to word this, but:

Identity is not a logic puzzle.
It's a story
or a poem.

There is no excluded middle
no law of noncontradiction
there are landmarks,
 memories,
  friendships,
resonant frequencies that sound in unison with selves
and victories won in the struggle for self-understanding.

They should be celebrated.

packbat: A bat wearing a big asexual-flag (black-gray-white-purple) backpack. (Default)
Monday, June 15th, 2020 07:49 pm

The U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling today on three cases related to LGBT+ rights - Gerald Lynn Bostock v. Clayton County, Georgia; Altitude Express, Inc., et al. v. Zarda et al., as Co-Independent Executors of the Estate of Zarda; and R. G. & G. R. Harris Funeral Homes, Inc. v. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission et al. - answering the question of whether Title VII the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employment discrimination against gay and trans people when it prohibits discrimination by sex. In, unexpectedly, Justice Neil Gorsuch's words, the answer is "yes, it is illegal to discriminate against them" (us):

An employer who fires an individual for being homosexual or transgender fires that person for traits or actions it would not have questioned in members of a different sex. Sex plays a necessary and undisguisable role in the decision, exactly what Title VII forbids.

[personal profile] cosmolinguist has a nice roundup post bringing up a lot of good points about how much this means (tl;dr: a lot).

packbat: A bat wearing a big asexual-flag (black-gray-white-purple) backpack. (Default)
Friday, December 21st, 2018 06:12 pm
(There was an outburst of "Nonbinary people are valid!" exclamations in my part of the Fediverse - probably in response to jerks being enbyphobic - so I figured I'd contribute. Turned out what I had to say was this.)
  • Listen to us as we try to explain our gender to you.
  • Be okay with our genders changing.
  • Be okay with still not wholly getting it.
  • (Be okay with us still not wholly getting it.)
  • ...but respect our expertise on our lives and our needs.
  • Singular-they is a great default, but listen to what we tell you and try to learn the pronouns we use.
  • Be okay with multiple sets of pronouns. Our genders can be large and contain multitudes.
  • Be okay with unfamiliar and novel pronouns. Finding our genders in words can be really hard.
  • If you mess up, apologize, move on, and try to do better. Making the mistake is not as big a deal as refusing to acknowledge it or refusing to try to change.
  • Beating yourself up isn't an apology, though. People feel really awkward when they have to comfort someone who just hurt them, and it's kind of unfair. Support in, vent out: say your apology to the enby and save your feelings to talk out with another friend or write in your journal or something like that.
  • Speaking of venting: let us vent about dysphoria and stuff. Someone might be a glorious androgynous mystery, a cute thrift-store demilady, a sharp-dressed genderfluid dude, or whatever, but however much they're killing it with their presentation, it doesn't take away their struggles.
  • (These last three go for binary trans people too.)
  • (And an aside on compliments: specific positivity is a fantastic tool and frequently very welcome ... but if we're busy venting something when you feel like bringing out the affirmations, let us speak our pain, first. Complements rarely have an expiry date.) (And acknowledge and validate our struggles, if you can; it helps.)
...I'm sure this list could be longer, but ... yeah, it's what I got off the top of my head. Feel free to suggest more bullet points.